My theory...

John The Ax · Post by **John The Ax** » Sun Jan 19, 2003 8:43 pm

Why isn't the fifth HP book out yet? Why? This is my theory. J. K.'s done TONS of writing over the past 2.5 years. TONS. More writing then you can dream of. What's she writing? Her name on documents leasing the Harry Potter rights to every company under the damn sun! That's why there are HP action figures, snow globes, Christmas ornaments, PC games, coloring books, web sites, LEGOs, plastic Santas (well, maybe not plastic Santas). Anyone agree with this theory?

Da_Goat · Post by **Da_Goat** » Sun Jan 19, 2003 9:06 pm

stupid harry potter. Well, I don't know anything about that...oh well, let me shoot some steam off:

Is anybody else pissed by how people now think that LOTR is for kids? Before the movies, they were thought of great works of literary achievement. But now, even though I thought the movies were fantastic, the movies have turned the series into children play things!

Unknown_K · Post by **Unknown_K** » Mon Jan 20, 2003 8:04 am

She is just maximizing her return, and most likely wont write anything people will like ever again.

Its easy to keep kids amused, I remember thinking star wars was the best when I seen it in the theature (thats correct I seen star wars on the big screen in the late 70's) when I was young, now the new episodes make me cringe with the wooden acting and crappy dialog.

Da_Goat · Post by **Da_Goat** » Mon Jan 20, 2003 11:23 am

well....I saw Star Wars in the theaters too....but, only the remakes. I agree, the new Star Wars are horrible....probably because of the lack of Darth Vader........man, he's my hero

John The Ax · Post by **John The Ax** » Mon Jan 20, 2003 2:36 pm

You know, they messed up Han's character in the first remake. In the original, he shot at Greedo first, not Greedo shooting at Han then Han shooting back. :Angry:

Unknown_K · Post by **Unknown_K** » Mon Jan 20, 2003 4:07 pm

The Han Solo thing was done because a hero today must be politically correct and that means not shooting first. I think the US is turning into a nation of wimps with all the politically correct crap these days. You cant say or do anything that might offend ANYBODY even if it is 100% correct as viewed by 99% of the country.

The original star wars were good because you had han solo that was looking after himself only, and darth vader that was pure evil along with the empire that went around blowing up plantets. The last 2 star wars movie didnt have a feeling of evil or danger, everything was behind the scenes planning etc (not to mention lame battle scenes).

John The Ax · Post by **John The Ax** » Mon Jan 20, 2003 4:38 pm

Yeah, that's why they changed it. It makes me mad, really. I agree with all you said.

Unknown_K · Post by **Unknown_K** » Mon Jan 20, 2003 5:15 pm

Star Wars has sucked ever since some idiot invented an ewok. Do you even remember an alien in star wars I, II that was menacing? All the newer alien creatures look like they belong on sesame street. Went from scary and menacing to "what stuffed animal would a 4 year old girl take to bed with her". Im sorry droid soilders dont do it for me.

Kazer0 · Post by **Kazer0** » Thu Jan 23, 2003 3:52 pm

Harry Potter and Teh Order of the Pheonix : Scedualed Release- June 21, 2003.

Now selling preorders at Yahoo! Shopping.

John The Ax · Post by **John The Ax** » Thu Jan 23, 2003 4:37 pm

Actually, I would find it quite funny if it WAS Harry Potter and teh Order of the Pheonix.

Da_Goat · Post by **Da_Goat** » Thu Jan 23, 2003 4:47 pm

Unknown_K wrote:Star Wars has sucked ever since some idiot invented an ewok. Do you even remember an alien in star wars I, II that was menacing? All the newer alien creatures look like they belong on sesame street. Went from scary and menacing to "what stuffed animal would a 4 year old girl take to bed with her". Im sorry droid soilders dont do it for me.

Darth Maul could have been scary if he either didn't talk at all, or talked enough to give him a menacing role

He talked just enough to make one think he was stupid.

I'm hoping that with Ep. 3's "introduction" of Darth Vader, the Emperor, and evil Storm Troopers, it might retain some of the original movie's qualities........of course, that's wishful thinking, but they could at least kill Jar Jar Binks near the beginning.

Oz · Post by Oz » Thu Jan 23, 2003 4:53 pm

want me to tell you the whole story, based on the title?

ok, so, harry potter is worried because don'tsay'isname is comin back. and just like the last time, bad things are gonna go down. so, harry hears about this organisation called Teh Order of the pheonix. they are kinda like the french resistance, dedicated to fighting voldemort. he joins. they go on, and on, and tey find voldemort made a ring. a Ring Of Power. they decide to journey into voldemort's estate to destroy it in his toilet, which is erupting and being like a volcano since voldemort had that chicken tikka masarla curry with extra curry last friday night. harry and his servant, dobby, journey over the mountains of toilet paper, trying to reach the toilet, called Oropoo'in. they get to the toilet, half dead, and throw the ring in. also, something else happens with all the other characters. and snape dies. there. the end.

Unknown_K · Post by **Unknown_K** » Thu Jan 23, 2003 6:28 pm

Da_Goat wrote:
Unknown_K wrote:Star Wars has sucked ever since some idiot invented an ewok. Do you even remember an alien in star wars I, II that was menacing? All the newer alien creatures look like they belong on sesame street. Went from scary and menacing to "what stuffed animal would a 4 year old girl take to bed with her". Im sorry droid soilders dont do it for me.
Darth Maul could have been scary if he either didn't talk at all, or talked enough to give him a menacing role He talked just enough to make one think he was stupid.

I'm hoping that with Ep. 3's "introduction" of Darth Vader, the Emperor, and evil Storm Troopers, it might retain some of the original movie's qualities........of course, that's wishful thinking, but they could at least kill Jar Jar Binks near the beginning.

Jar-jar needs darth vader to stick a double-ended light saber up his ass and then hit the switch. I cant see how snot nosed no brain anakin can turn into the scary darth vader. Does he start smoking pot, then cocaine, then crack? Does his woman run off with a droid because he cant start an interesting conversation? Maybe he is bitter now that they have a clone army and the jedi's get laid off. I just cant see him putting on the dark helmet 10 minutes into the next movie.

Da_Goat · Post by **Da_Goat** » Thu Jan 23, 2003 9:22 pm

I doubt it'll be that 10 minutes in.

Another thing I hate about the 1,2 as opposed to 4,5,6, is that they're in different time slots. 4,5, and 6 pretty much went right after another, the new ones go about 5 years at a time.

Unknown_K · Post by **Unknown_K** » Thu Jan 23, 2003 9:36 pm

Da_Goat wrote:I doubt it'll be that 10 minutes in.

Another thing I hate about the 1,2 as opposed to 4,5,6, is that they're in different time slots. 4,5, and 6 pretty much went right after another, the new ones go about 5 years at a time.

Oh really? I thaught 1 and 2 were same time slots, and I aged 5 years watching them.

I have to admit 2 was better then 1 (which was total crap) but eh bad acting is killing it for me. the guy who does Obi Wan does a great job, but anikin in both films sucks ass.

Da_Goat · Post by **Da_Goat** » Thu Jan 23, 2003 11:16 pm

yep. It's easy to notice when the guy who plays Anakin stalls for a minute, trying to remember his line.

Actually, now that I think about it, it was 10 years apart, not 5.

Post by **Dogbreath** » Fri Jan 24, 2003 1:14 pm

Oz wrote:A Ring Of Power.

Now I wonder where she got that idea...

(I swear, if a little man in yellow boots shows up in this upcoming book I'm burning it)

John The Ax · Post by **John The Ax** » Fri Jan 24, 2003 2:39 pm

Little man in yellow boots? Tom Bombadil? What? Who are you referring to, I don't think you mean Tom.

John The Ax · Post by **John The Ax** » Fri Jan 24, 2003 2:53 pm

Speaking of Bombadil, this was a conversation on the LotR GameFAQ's message board (Every other post is bolded):

I’m telling you…Tom Bombadil and Goldberry NEVER existed (I do mean on the 'fictional level of course)

people read so much into Lord of the Rings…religion, war, the human condition, etc… so why is it so hard to believe that Tolkien included a drug induced freakout during the journey?

A Shortcut to Mushrooms should pretty much explain everything from Old Man Willow to The House of Tom Bombadil to finally to the Fog on the Barrowdowns…

The Hobbits come BACK to reality at Bree and the Prancing pony. Simple. ;-)

YEA! I agree completely, finally a crackpot theory holds water (Besides the Tolkien Sarcasm ones) so yay! That explains Goldberrry and everything.

SPOILERS!!!!

And at the end, when Gandalf goes to "have a talk with Bombadil"...Well, we all know how fond Gandalf is of hobbit-weed...

must say I am glad to see everyone so far gets the ‘theme’ of this topic.

And yes… Gandalf has a nice LONG conversation with ol’ Bombadil… ;-)

This would be a decent theory if the swords from the Barrow Downs weren't a plot point in RotK.

It's so obvious! Looking back, I knew there was something weird about his psychedelic fashion sense! I mean, YELLOW BOOTS?! What's up with that? Frodo and co. had some shrooms, smoked some weed, and dreamed up the whole thing.
Ahhh…not necessarily. Have you never woken up after weekend binge and found yourself in possession of something that you have absolutely NO idea where you got it or where it came from (and that goes for finding people in your bed too…LOL…)?

Of course in the movie we have no need to worry about the Westernesse(sp?) blades, but in the books, and according to my beguiled theory, I believe the “Morning After Syndrome” does apply and helps the theory stand.

But then again…maybe not! };-)~

GAMER · Post by **GAMER** » Sat Feb 01, 2003 5:08 am

Oz, nice HP theory, sounds so...ORIGINAL.

i think that it is gunna have sumthing bout fawkes again...and in the end of all HP harry is gunna commit suicide and thus kill voldemort coz they are conected by the scar and now their blood.

GAMER.