the legend, the legacy, the adventure.

[BlueYoshi]

Strangest thing you will ever see:

Legacy of Sploot




Chapter 1: Earnest A. Endeaver

Earnest Endeaver was an absent minded, yet brilliant, prolific and flamboyant moof
scientist. In the far eastern corner of the Sploot Kingdom, he was identified best as the
inventor of a multitude of amazing air-based modern marvels such as the highly
acclaimed Automated Mobile Kite, an actual inhabitable kite suspended in the air by a string held by an easily proggramable robot, that was set to transmit the kite to one’s desired destination, anywhere in the Sploot Kingdom 24/7. Even more noteworthy, were Earnest’s compact air ships made from tuna cans.
However, one day Earnest began to spiral into a deep yet humerous depression, his fans began to find him too ostentatious to their liking, and his inventions began
to degenerate from creative to just downright insane, such as rocket ships devised
of dish soap, and heat lamps powered by water hoses. If there was one thing
Earnest needed, it was an apprentice. Preferably, two apprentices who would shape the image of his creations, if he could find them. His lucid dreams of budding scientists
knocking on the door, never ceased to end until the 5th of June. One day, (the 5th of June to be exact) suddenly there came a tapping, as if someone gently bapping, bapping on his cavern’s door, he thought for sure it was one of those all important apprentice type folkies, but no. Not that. It was a short little cloaked somewhat scary looking being, his face was not visible, his gloves looked clammy, in his left hand
he carried a recently sharpened fake pick axe, and he handed out a letter in his right hand. The sight of this strange shrouded man was terryfying to Earnest. But finally the creature
took off his disguise and revealed himself to be not scary, no on the contrary, the all important fox cub humanoid messenger of the Sploot Kingdom, half-cousin of Jyffel Dumbri, chancellor of Falendalia, and an experienced note delivering novice, Jumple JimbleSquirt, who had an attitude towards life like that of a mexican jumping bean fuled by too much enthusiasm. Jumple looked Earnest in the face, with a creepy twinkle in his eyes. Well, to Earnest it’s twinkle was that of immense creepiness. He knew the letter would be baaad news, if Jumple was smiling. One of the king of Sploot’s complaints towards Jumple was that he always smiled when he delivered bad news.
“Yes sirreee, looks like your reign of invention insanity has just come to a hilarious halt! Seriously, if ol bearded Prophet Snudd said it it’s gotta be
true!” said Jumple wickedly winking at Earnest with a beaming smile. Earnest violently snatched the letter out of the spooky courier’s hand, and found the letter to
be from the esteemed scholar and overly prolific and highly predictable hilarious prophet,
Snelder J. Snudd. Upon anxiously tearing up the envelope in a fit of rage, he discovered
that his invention company would collapse in seven days, if he were to continue
to come up with dorky devices that lacked devious scheming and plotting. Earnest looked
thoughtfully at the messenger who had just given him this earth shattering news,
and he suddenly saw hope springing up like a springboard in the middle of Spring. He started laughing. Jumple took it to mean something else.
“I know. Isn’t it hilarious? The most believed prophet in all the land, with the longest whitest silkiest beard, just declared you would go out of business! Don’t let it get inside you!” exclaimed Jumple, who was now rolling on the floor laughing like
the hyperactive hyena that he was.
“No no no, that’s not it at all,! You’re an energy crisis that needs to be solved!” shouted Earnest.
“Oh. Well. I didn’t think it was funny that your inventions
wouldn’t sell anymore, certainly not that. What cracked me up was
that a letter from a KOOK like Prophet Snudd would even scare you,
big guy! Why measure how wise a prophet is, just because they
have big and long old beard?” said Jumple in a consoling tenor of voice.
“Yes, sometimes even I feel embarresed to live in a world where
a man’s mind myrr is measured by his beard!” declared Earnest.
“Sploot is a crazy place ain’t it? That’s one broken invention
you can’t fix!” said Jumple.
“What I really wanted to ask you was, would you like to help me
test my most recent android controlled kite flying transportation
unit?” asked Earnest with an earnest expression.
“Do you mean that earnestly, Earnest? You really want
me to test that flimsy piece of jun…..ingenious design, yes
that’s what I was going to say. That flimsy yet ingenious
mold of creative blunder, I mean thunder! Yeah!
That be the one!” said Jumple apprehensively laughing. Earnest remained
solumn, and took Jumple very seriously, with his arms folded.






Chapter 2: Jumple Gives the Invention a Test Drive


Minutes anon, the inventor and his newly found apprentice went outside
to test the project. It was a windy day, perfect for kite flying. Perhaps,
too perfect. Fate would have it that technical difficulties were
about to ensue. It WAS Jumple J. Squirt who was testing
the invention after all, a total blockhead of lunatic porportions.
“Okay, so say I wanted to go to a beach somewhere in the
Carob Being, I’d just set this lil robot thingy to 51Z mode and
turn the transmission on!” A look of horror echoed from Earnest’s face to
Jumple’s face who could still barely contain his smile but tried.
“NO NO NO! You’re going to be blown off course into
the middle of nowhere! In 51Z mode, the robot spews out
ham sandwhiches!” shouted Earnest.
“Mmm..ham sandwhiches!” said Jumple licking his chops,
and pushing the random fire button. Ham sandwhiches
began to rain down onto the kingdom like condensed eggdrop soup,
and the robot zoomed at 290 billion miles per second, carrying Jumple
literally from continent to continent and yes, he was blown off course,
far off into a distant country due to the robot’s intense speed. Luckily
for Jumple, the people of this country were starving for a bite of food. A
young boy named Zync, saw the flying fox cub and pointed it out to
his mother, who was a SNIBB.
“That’s just a strange looking airship dear, not your friend
Jumple!” said Zync’s oblivious mother. A ham sandwhich landed in her
face. Zync’s mother realized that this flying phenomenon really
WAS Jumple J. Squirt being flown like a human kite! Soon the entire town
was all abuzz and running around in circles screaming! When ham sandwhiches
began to come out of nowhere, many people thought they were hallucinating
food. But soon they realized their dreams had come true, and the people
of this remote rural community were to be malnourished no more. They cheered and
gave thanks to the flying creature and when he landed, he was held up by
a large crowd cheering for him. Jumple tried to be humble, but he craved
attention and praise. Then he finally decided to be modest, since
Earnest’s profits and business earnings were at an all time low.
“It is not the one known as I who gave you these ham sandwhiches
that spew before you all on this fine sunny blusterous windy yet somewhat humid day. It is a friend of mine. Someone we all
know and hate, I mean love! Ahem! Someone we all either love or hate, Earnest Endeaver, the Splootonian
scientist on the far edge of this magic kingdom!” declared Jumple
with a look of pride.
“It was his invention that saved you all. And so I ask that you
thank him, rather than a lowly peasent such as the one known as
me!”, Jumple continued. So the crowd gathered together to send
large donations of money to Earnest Endeaver’s inventive corperation,
and soon they had raised over 100 billion gill coins. But then, on the
other side of the village, a large rampaging angry mob of vegeterians came swarming
in like ladybugs after Jumple. Jumple immediately gained support from Zync, who wasn’t
a vegetarian and they both fled from the ravenous terror mongering angry mob of veggie loving savages, who were carrying lit torches and meat cleavers (wait, weren’t they vegetarians?). Luckily, Jumple
and his best friend Zync escaped the town in one piece. They banged into
a tree on their way back into the Sploot Kingdom Courtyard however,
and were knocked unconcious. When they awoke, they found themselves
in a forest out in the middle of nowhere. The invention that had saved over 1 billion
starving villagers was smashed and torn to ribbons, by what appeared to be
chimera tooth marks.
“Wa…wa…where are we?” asked Zync, looking up into the sky, feeling
very woozy and mysteriously mystified. Jumple saw a sign that read “Forest of the Evil Chimeras”. Jumple turned back his head at Zync, and told him:
“According to that there sign, we’re in uhh…the Forest
of the Evil Chipmunks, I mean chimeras! Yeah, that be
the one!”. They were both foggy headed and somewhat disoriented, but Zync
remembered this area from a dream he once had when he was three years old. Zync
told him of his wonderful dream of finding a lost adorable baby chimera in a forest and
raising it as his own and giving a name unto the little one, Freddy, and of how
one day, his dream came true. Suddenly there
was some rustling in the bushes, and out came a hungry chimera!!! The cat like beast
hissed and growled towards Jumple, and spewed forth three vociferous fire balls! Once again,Zync and Jumple were on the run from danger.
“Zync, remember that time I told you that I laugh in the face of jeopardy?
FORGET IT! That’s ancient history!” said Jumple running for his very life
from Zync’s fully grown pet chimera Freddy. Jumple tripped over a log and
fell into a swamp, Zync was running so quickly he didn’t notice, but
while he was fleeing he grabbed the map that Jumple had dropped. When he
had left the forest, he shouted Jumple’s name but there was no response. Zync
decided then and there that his own pet chimera had all but eaten his
closest companion next to his three year old pigtailed sister Twoodleberry. Zync took the remains of the smashed invention, and the map with him, in case they might come
in handy. For a four year old boy, Zync knew a lot about survival in the wilderness,
and about how to make due with the resources at foot and hand. He saw a huge
world spreading out before him like peanut butter as he ventured out into
the unknown. This was truly the most remarkable moment in Zync’s life. He traversed
up a long and winding road, when suddenly he came to the fork in the road. The
fork in the road informed Zync that Prophet Snudd’s house was directly to the right
of where he was standing. Zync thanked the faithful fork named Frank, and made
his way into the tent of the wise but feeble minded old prophet who was profiting
off of all of his various and arguabley looney prophecies. When he entered the
tent, he saw many wooden eating utensils and Prophet Snudd was in the
lotus position meditating when Zync had just barged in.
“BLESS MY 498 BILLION YEAR OLD BEARD! What’s making that
racket?” asked Prophet Snudd, looking down at a tiny brown haired kid
about the age of 4.
“ZYNC, old laddie buck, what brings you here? Did you bring
the components you usually bring to help me better prophesize? The
magic football? The ear cleaning implements? No? You didn’t? What
a shame. Aww it be no big deal. Take your coat off and stay for a while!”
said Prophet Snudd. Zync of course had no coat on, this was just something
that Snelder J. Snudd enjoyed saying to any visitor who dared enter
his sacred tent.
“Make yourself at home, and don’t forget to scratch
my cat Mooshy’s ears!” said Snudd, scratching his pet cat
Mooshy’s ears. Mooshy was a small white fluffy cat, who was
Prophet Snudd’s constant escort. Mooshy, being a pedigree,
always thought herself smarter than her master, and had a huge
ego for a kitten.
“Don’t scratch my left ear! Scratch my RIGHT ear!” hissed Mooshy
in cat language. Noeone seemed to notice this proclamation, and Prophet
Snudd began to mumble and rant for what seemed like hours about
giants and evil wizards and gizzards and blizzards and lizards and dragons and knights
and stone slabs, football, pixies, elves, kings, queens, kingdoms, fairies, the KC royals and the works. When this was all done, Prophet Snudd revealed to Zync a century old
prophecy.
“Zync, I’m afraid I have some disconcerting news. My evil half
cousin Jafistaward is attempting to command an army of 198 thousand
million monsters. He’s stolen my most powerful monster summoning
potion so there is virtually no way for me to counter attack his
wicked ways. I know you’ve saved this kingdom at least once
or twice before, and I understand you have a map. May I see it?” asked
the finicky Prophet Snudd shaking his hands getting down on his
knees and begging for the map. What appeared to be a map was
actually a love poem entitled “Elegy to Peanut Brittle”, by Jumple Jelly
Squirt.
“Darn that moronic Jumple going through the trouble of placing
a rubber band and trying his best to disguise a love poem written
about peanut brittle as an ancient scroll! Ahem. Pardon me. Well,
Zync, all I know is Jafistaward’s potion that he stole from me is
a monster making marvel of the new millineum. If you can’t retrieve
it, we’ll be overun and severely wounded, or even worse,
badly scarred! So something must be done about this
evil Jafistaward doomsday prophet fellow! His castle isn’t
that far from here but he’s used the magic potion to
create a barrier sealing off all entry! The only means of
obtaining an item to break that barrier is the Sword of Truth
that used to be green tinted! And the only way to find that sword would
be to have some sort of air travel. Let me see if I can redesign that smashed
video game system of yours!” said Prophet Snudd grabbing the huge
smashed invention out of Zync’s tiny gnome like hands. Prophet Snudd
sat around for several hundred days, trying to piece it back together, and
finally it was accomplished. The 498 year old prophet who was cyrogenically
preserved by dinosaur scientists handed over the fixed machine and the
robot that came with it and assembled both of them. When they were finished,
he explained how to use the robot and the inhabitable kite in sync, and all
the ins and outs of proper vehicle maintence. Prophet Snudd also supplied Zync with
a large bulky powerful and flexible metal spoon to use against evil monsters and the liking.
“I’ll teell yew if I heave succeeess on my jewerney to defueat
Jafistawurd and sooave the Sploot Wingdom!” said Zync setting
off into the wilderness of blue yonder.
“And I’ll tell you if I ever remember what I had forgotten
to not tell you three days ago!” said Prophet Snudd waving Zync
goodbye. Will Zync succeed? Only time and wise old
bearded prophets will tell.








Chapter 3: Zync’s Journey

Zync was sitting under a waterfall thinking about various things. Just contimplating
and thinking and planning ahead for the rest of the journey’s outcome. He thought
about how Earnest A. Endeaver would be the most famous moof man alive if it was
his invention that helped a hero save the entire Sploot Kingdom. He felt a lot
of responsibility on his hands, so he washed them under the waterfall, but
there was still quite a bit left. He began fiddiling around with the automaton,
and reprogramming it to go back to the Forest of the Evil Chimeras, in hopes
of finding Jumple, the foolish messenger that had served as Zync’s older
brother. When Zync stepped into the fully inhabitable kite, he began
zooming at implausible speeds, and crash landed right in the swamp
that Jumple had fell in.

[Larry Laffer]

You want ME to read all THAT just because you say it's strange????

Not gonna happen

[julie124]

I wouldnt read all that, even if It was my business final:P

[fauvem]

yup, thats strange.

[cyb3r.god3]

too much text