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REPENT, YE SINNERS!! THE END IS AT HAND!!!

 
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webmaster from hell
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 30, 2002 11:29 pm     Post subject: REPENT, YE SINNERS!! THE END IS AT HAND!!! Reply with quote

CHAPTER 1 of 22---INTRODUCTION


1. The Revelation of Cheese-its & Rice, which God gave unto him, to shew unto his servants things which must shortly come to pass; and he sent and signified it by his angel unto his servant John:
2. Who bare record of the word of God, and of the testimony of Cheese-its & Rice, and of all things that he saw.
3. Blessed is he that readeth, and they that hear the words of this prophecy, and keep those things which are written therein: for the time is at hand.
4. John to the seven churches which are in Asia: Grace be unto you, and peace, from him which is, and which was, and which is to come; and from the seven Spirits which are before his throne;
5. And from Cheese-its & Rice, who is the faithful witness, and the first begotten of the dead, and the prince of the kings of the earth. Unto him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood,
6. And hath made us kings and priests unto God and his Father; to him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.
7. Behold, he cometh with clouds; and every eye shall see him, and they also which pierced him: and all kindreds of the earth shall wail because of him. Even so, Amen.
8. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, saith the Lord, which is, and which was, and which is to come, the Almighty.
9. I John, who also am your brother, and companion in tribulation, and in the kingdom and patience of Cheese-its & Rice, was in the isle that is called Patmos, for the word of God, and for the testimony of Cheese-its & Rice.
10. I was in the Spirit on the Lord's day, and heard behind me a great voice, as of a trumpet,
11. Saying, I am Alpha and Omega, the first and the last: and, What thou seest, write in a book, and send it unto the seven churches which are in Asia; unto Ephesus, and unto Smyrna, and unto Pergamos, and unto Thyatira, and unto Sardis, and unto Philadelphia, and unto Laodicea.
12. And I turned to see the voice that spake with me. And being turned, I saw seven golden candlesticks;
13. And in the midst of the seven candlesticks one like unto the Son of man, clothed with a garment down to the foot, and girt about the paps with a golden girdle.
14. His head and his hairs were white like wool, as white as snow; and his eyes were as a flame of fire;
15. And his feet like unto fine brass, as if they burned in a furnace; and his voice as the sound of many waters.
16. And he had in his right hand seven stars: and out of his mouth went a sharp twoedged sword: and his countenance was as the sun shineth in his strength.
17. And when I saw him, I fell at his feet as dead. And he laid his right hand upon me, saying unto me, Fear not; I am the first and the last:
18. I am he that liveth, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive for evermore, Amen; and have the keys of hell and of death.
19. Write the things which thou hast seen, and the things which are, and the things which shall be hereafter;
20. The mystery of the seven stars which thou sawest in my right hand, and the seven golden candlesticks. The seven stars are the angels of the seven churches: and the seven candlesticks which thou sawest are the seven churches.
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nastypoisonspikes
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 31, 2002 4:42 am     Post subject: Reply with quote

Err...mabye you might want to download some games...that's what I do if I feel like I'm so bored that I want to read the bible...but that's just my opinion. And somehow I don't think I'll be alone on this.
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John The Ax
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 31, 2002 3:44 pm     Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree with Nasty there... What was the point of this? No one even knows if Revelations is a story of the end of the world; no one even knows what it truly means, it is totally symbolic. So don't pretend that you do.
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Thunderdog
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 01, 2002 7:08 pm     Post subject: Reply with quote

THOU SHALT BE STRUCK DOWN FOR THIS!!!! Malevolent
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Dogbreath
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 02, 2002 7:48 pm     Post subject: Reply with quote

Indeed, webmaster. What is the point? The Revelation was a dream given to John (who was at the time in exile at patmos, ~98 AD) and was NOT a real occurence. Supposively, what is said in his dream has yet to come and at the moment, does not concern us. Would you mind explaining why you posted this?

Chapter 6, verse 8: And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and [Webmaster From] Hell followed after him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.

Soooo... WFH and Death will be riding over the earth soon. How lovely. :hides under table:
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webmaster from hell
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 02, 2002 10:09 pm     Post subject: Reply with quote

SOMEBOSY DELETE THIS GDAMNED SUBJECT!!! IT WAS A F---ING JOKE!!!
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Da_Goat
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 02, 2002 10:19 pm     Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, I deleting it may cause some people to freak out.....I'll just lock it.
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Dogbreath
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 03, 2002 4:00 pm     Post subject: Reply with quote

I do it all the time. You've just gotta delete all the posts that question where they went too. (Idea suppression is fun)
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